Instagram-The Great and Terrible: 5 keys for a Healthy, Lasting Relationship with Social Media

Instagram. The great and terrible. Powerful enough to grant seeming instant fame and fortune to some, and to others—a slow kind of madness resulting in bitter jealousy and feelings of worthlessness. One day you are the algorithm’s golden child. She smiles graciously upon you, favors you, makes you her pet. She props you on a pedestal for all to see your glory. Other days she locks you in a dark closet, stuffing a towel under the door, so no matter how loud you call out, or how eloquently, your voice is dampened. Silenced. You wonder what you did to offend her. Then hate yourself for caring so much.

This is the twisted truth of Instagram. It sounds pretty bad right? In reality, I believe instagram is one of our most powerful tools to promote ourselves, and present our art to the world on our own terms. We no longer have to wait for the gatekeepers of the art world to discover our work and grant us favor. WE HAVE EVERYTHING WE NEED TO DO THIS FOR OURSLEVES. On our phones! And it’s free (aside from the expense of your time and sanity)! For stay-at-home-moms, people with a side hustle, emerging artists with little prior experience, this is tool is an incredible gift and opportunity.

This is why we’ve got to get a grip! We can’t afford to let the enemy (insert favorite enemy here…big tech, The Man, the patriarchy, society, influencer culture) turn this tool against us! Haven’t they taken enough? And now we are on the verge of letting ‘them’ take one of our greatest resources for success and use it to make us feel small and powerless. We must learn to take ownership of our social media experience, or ‘they’ win again.

I would first like to establish some context that will help put Instagram in proper perspective. Then I will offer 5 keys to help you find a healty, lasting relationship with Instagram…so you can ‘stick it to the man’…or something of the sort.

Finding Context: The Carnival

Picture this:

You arrive at a big, bustling carnival with hundreds of games and activities. Your goal is to get as many tickets as possible that can be cashed in for glorious prizes that will make all your dreams come true. (I know carnival prizes are the actual worst, but go with me on this one).

Right inside the entrance you see a large crowd gathered around the ping pong toss. There’s a massive table topped with tiny glass bowls with very narrow openings. All you have to do is throw the ping pong ball into one of the bowls to get a wad of tickets. So simple. People seem to be winning. They are all holding hundreds of tickets, thousands even. You see your destiny here…toss ping pong balls, earn tickets, live your dreams.

You step up and toss your first ball, it pings straight off the rim. You toss another, and miss the table entirely. You toss a third; it bounces across several bowls before rolling off the table. Dang! This is harder than it looks. How is everyone around me holding so many tickets? The guy standing next to you gives you some tips, which help a little. After a few hours of implement this strategy you finally get one in, and the payout is good. A fistfull of tickets! Yessss! After several more hours, this trick is no longer working. Sometimes it even seems the less you try the better you do.

Each time someone else cheers in victory you can’t help but feel a little pang of jealousy. I’m working just as hard, why is everyone else winning? Is it luck? Is it skill? Is it the time of day? Is it their looks? Are the carnival workers somehow favoring them? You start obsessing with the unfairness of this game. You watch others and copy their movements. You ask for more tips. You even pay money to receive some coaching. But at the end of the day you’re still scratching your head.

There seems to be an undeniable element of luck, supernatural forces beyond your control, a secret code you haven’t cracked. You let the game drive you to madness. You devote all your spare hours. Day after day you come back to this game, and waste away with the faint hope that one day you can amass enough tickets to finally make your dreams come true. It’s exhausting. Sometimes you just sit there with a blank stare and watch others play. You hate the game but you’re afraid of what will happen if you stop playing. You question yourself. Your worth. You wish you could quit, but feel like quitting is quitting your dreams. Worst of all, everyone else looks like they are having an amazing time.

The crazy thing is… you were so focused on winning this game, you forgot to have fun playing. You also couldn’t have known that many of the other players were just as miserable as you, even (if not especially) the ones with the most tickets.

What’s more, you forgot to step back and see the rest of the carnival. While you were hunched over the ping pong toss, you missed out on the hundreds of other games being played with tickets of their own. There’s skee ball, the basketball shooting arcade, the hammer bell, horseshoes, and so much more. The carnival is huge. Expansive. And exciting. All this time you thought the ping pong toss was your only chance. You thought it WAS the carnival.

Not only that, you forgot that you could leave the carnival entirely, for days and weeks at a time and go to the mountains, lay by the lake with a good book, or plan a picnic with friends. You didn’t realize that the carnival would still be there. The ping pong toss would still be there. Mostly unchanged. Ready to welcome you back for another round, anytime you’re ready.

Do you follow? Just in case, I’ll break it down.

Instagram is the ping pong toss. It’s a great way to promote yourself, make connections, sell work, and yes, even help make your dreams come true. But with the algorithm and so many other factors, it’s never a direct payout. There is always an element of luck or mystical forces at play no matter how much skill or effort you bring to the table. This part can make you crazy.

This is why it’s great to remember that Instagram is not the only game at the carnival. You can play with Pinterest, blogs, Tik Tok or newsletters etc. And not all the games have to be social media. You could try: Going to art openings and visiting galleries. Hosting art critique nights or paint nights at your home. Applying to local gallery shows. Planning your own gallery show—even if you hold it in a friend’s home, like an art party with good food. Finding and attending local networking events. Farmers markets. Art fairs. Local and online workshops (to host or attend). Applying to art blogs and publications. Applying for grants and residencies. Talking to real people about your work, and keeping business cards or postcards on hand. The self promotion carnival is very expansive. Don’t forget to explore a little.

And…remember to just straight-up walk away from the whole carnival. On a regular basis. Spend lots if time in the ‘regular world’. Go for a swim, meet up with friends, do karaoke, lay in the grass. Find ways to stay grounded.

I am concerned that we get so focused on our phones, on these squares, on these numbers that it creates a false sense of reality and limits our vision of what is possible. It limits our vision of who we really are. It even limits our vision of what actually matters in life…like real life.

Now. That being said. Instagram is still a key component for most modern businesses and entrepreneurs. It’s a basic, even if unwelcomed reality for many artists hoping to find connections and collectors. Most of us are going to be on Instagram regardless, so let’s make it work for us, not against us.

I don’t have a booming instagram account. The algorithm Gods are rarely smiling upon me. But I have managed to maintain a pretty healthy relationship with Instagram over the years, regardless of my growth or engagement at any given time. AND. I sell enough work and get enough commissions that I typically have more work lined up than I can make with my limited hours.

Here are five keys that have helped me establish a healthy, lasting relationship with Instagram:

1 — My Way or the Highway

There is NO END to the tips, trends, 'shoulds’ and ‘supposed tos’ of Instagram. But ultimately, the best strategy is one that you actually like, because it’s the only one that will last. If reels are trending but you’d rather die than point to word bubbles or dance in your studio…JUST DON’T MAKE REELS, or make reels in a way that feels normal to you. If you force yourself to create content you hate making…you will NOT LAST!

If you don’t want to be glued to your phone all day ‘warming up the algorithm’ with incessant liking and commenting, JUST DON’T DO IT! Will you lower your engagement? Maybe. Will you have slower growth? Probably. But you will have a healthier experience, which means you will enjoy the process, which means you will actually stick with it. The alternative often leads to a speedy burnout, which means you will NOT LAST!

Instagram can be a fun process. Experiment. Play. Do it your own way.

2 — Come up for air. A lot. 

Be mindful and take breaks when you need it. If you are hating your time on Instagram, if your personal life is going through a rough patch, if you realize you’re spending more time on your phone than you are in the studio…TAKE A BREAK!!! 

Sign out for a week. A month. A year. Whatever you need to feel like a whole and healthy person. Instagram will still be here. You won’t miss out on much. And what if you do? What if you lose followers, momentum, and your engagement plummets? Oh well. What’s the alternative? You force yourself to push through, make yourself miserable, resent the process. And…you will NOT LAST!! 

Many people even anticipate these pitfalls and plan accordingly. Some set regular Instagram hours during weekdays, and sign out on weekends. Some take a week off every month, or a month off every year. Create the boundaries that work for you, and be fearless about protecting them. 

3 — Remember the Humans

Social media can be a little dehumanizing—we focus a lot on numbers and goals. But behind every little circle is a real, living, breathing person. Isn’t that amazing!?

Receiving comments from a random account with 75 followers and a few blurry photos may not seem like your ‘ideal’ networking opportunity. But some of the most interesting, intelligent, hilarious, (even most wealthy) people aren’t necessarily spending their time perfecting their Instagram image. You have no idea who these people are, or what they could offer you in terms of friendship, community, networking, or even future sales.

Every genuine comment and message is a treasure. If even just three people walked up to you in-person one day and complimented your art, or asked you a question about your process, you would flattered. Excited. Grateful, and engaged. Why should it be any different on Instagram? Don’t simply scroll past, refresh, obsessively looking for more, more, more. Value these people as individuals who are using their precious little time to connect with you. Be genuine. Be interested in them. Be grateful for every opportunity to connect in meaningful ways. This will HELP YOU LAST!

If your following is small, you have a special opportunity to really nurture that little flock. With only a few comments and messages coming in you have the ability to genuinely reply to each one. Follow them back. Ask them questions. What a wonderful foundation to build on!

And…knowing how nice it feels to receive genuine comments and messages, don’t forget to spread the love to others! It feels good to be a little ray of sunshine in someone else’s day, and HELP THEM LAST TOO!

4 — Likes are Just a Number, Baby

Likes, comments, and follows are useful forms of feedback. They help inform you if your message is coming across clearly. They can help you know what your people love and might want to see more of. But they can quickly become an obsession that keeps you from seeing the bigger picture.

In my experience, high engagement comes in waves and ultimately I’ve learned it’s best to step back and emotionally disconnect from the numbers. Why? Because to do otherwise would drive me mad and…you guessed it…I would NOT LAST! It takes time and effort do disconnect from the numbers, and I’m not perfect at it, but it does get easier.

You don’t need to be an instagram sensation to have success in your art business. With just a few hundred followers you could land a great commission, connect with some ideal clients, and meet amazing like-minded artists.

If you’re feeling frustrated by the numbers, shift your goals to something you actually have control over. Instead of setting a goal for a certain amount of likes or follows, try setting a goal for how many direct messages you will send to artists/curators you admire. Set a goal to improve your photo editing, or to post in your stories every day for seven days. Anything you can directly control.

5 — Remember The Why 

As with any endeavour that comes with big ups and downs, remembering The Why is often what keeps us in the game. Why are you on this platform? What do you want to say? What conversations are you hoping to create? 

Having a reason to care has the dual benefit of adding depth to your content AND it gives you motivation to keep showing up day after day. 

When you share content and ideas you actually care about, YOUR PEOPLE WILL FIND YOU. You have meaningful conversations. True community adds a sense of satisfaction to your experience, and Instagram becomes more of a gift and less of a burden. It’s hard to resent a game you genuinely enjoy playing, which will HELP YOU LAST A VERY LONG TIME.

I hope these ideas will make your Instagram experience a little more healthy and a lot less crazy-making.

Obviously there is nothing wrong with working hard to grow your account and boost your engagement. I work hard on this! That’s why we’re all here! Of course we want to win the game, get the tickets, and earn the prizes! Instagram really does have the power to help dreams come true! But we’ve got to stay grounded if we want to last.

Don’t look at Instagram as a sprint, or even a means to a specific end, look at it as an ongoing process that can actually be enjoyable if you keep it on your own terms. Play when you can, in the way that you can. And keep your wits about you! This game is not for the faint of heart.

Sending Love, and Lasting-ness,

Denise

To have new blog posts sent directly to your email, sign up for my newsletter!

It comes twice a month, packed with beauty, updates, inspiration and more.