Rejection: A Semi-Comprehensive History
If you have spent any amount of time trying to ‘make it’ as an artist, you are likely no stranger to rejection. It can be a tough pill to swallow, even if you know it’s ‘normal’. I thought it might be fun to share a semi-comprehensive history of my own rejections over the years.
I have been rejected in just about every possible variety. I get it. There are a million reasons why a curator or gallerist is unable or uninterested in showing your work. I’m happy to accept ‘no’ as an answer, even if it stings a little.
But I gotta say, no reply, or even worse...inexplicably dropping out of an email exchange with no warning...is the bottom of the barrel. The scum. The most insulting and baffling form of rejection possible. Being ghosted. Are you familiar with that term?
GHOSTED: “The practice of suddenly ending all contact with a person without explanation, especially in a romantic relationship.” (dictionary.com)
Or in my case, especially in an artistic relationship.
With the terminology nailed down, let’s enjoy a trip down rejection lane! (In no particular order, and with a fair amount of paraphrasing)
REJECTION A
Me: “Can I show my work in your fancy gallery with white walls?”
Fancy gallery with white walls: “No”
REJECTION B
Cool Art Consultant: “I’m interested in placing some of your paintings in a high-end retail store being built downtown Vancouver. What are your prices? Let’s Talk.”
Me: “That sounds great. Let’s do it. Here's the info.” (Whaaat? Yessss! Everything I’ve been working and waiting for. All my dreams are coming truuue!)
…several email exchanges later…
Me: “What are the next steps?”
Cool Art Consultant: ……….GHOSTED
REJECTION C
Me: “Can I show my work in your funky, artist-run space?”
Funky, artist-run space: No reply
...six months later…
Me: “Hi, me again, can I show my work in your funky, artist-run space?”
Funky, artist-run space: No reply
Me: Mmmmkay
REJECTION D
Me: “Can I show my work in your sad trailer-type building that is called a gallery?”
Sad trailer-type building that is called a gallery: No reply
...three months later...
Me: “Just checking, I didn’t hear back…”
Sad trailer-type building that is called a gallery: “Did you check your spam folder?”
Me: “Oh...let’s see...yes, I see your rejection now. It’s been here all along, right next to this invitation for hot n’ horny singles. Thank you for your time.”
SEMI-REJECTION E
Me: “Can I show my work in the little gallery space in the lobby of your fine establishment?”
Fine Establishment: “Maybe. Send a proposal to this lady by email.”
Me: “Great!” Sends proposal to this lady
This Lady: No reply
...three YEARS later….
This Lady: “Do you still want to show your work in the little gallery at this fine establishment?”
Me: “Yes!” (Whaaat? Yessss! Everything I’ve been working and waiting for. All my dreams are coming truuue!)
This Lady: “Meet me in the lobby of the fine establishment.”
Me: “Great!” Meets her in the lobby. With three kids in tow. (One of them sets off our car alarm from inside fine establishment.)
This Lady: “I’ll show you the space.” Walks straight past little gallery space in the lobby of fine establishment, down a hallway, into a tiny library, to the back corner, gestures to a small, gray, concrete wall with a gold plate stuck to it reading ‘gallery’.
Me: “Oh. Oh I see. Yes. THIS is the gallery space you meant I could use. Um. Yes...everything I worked...and waited for...for three years. Ahem. Thank you, I’ll take it.”
REJECTION F
Me: “Can I show my work at your extra funky artist-run space?”
Extra funky artist-run space: No reply
Me: Yep
REJECTION G
Interior Designer: “I think your work might do well as prints. I’ll show it to a licensing guy I know!”
Me: “Okay, cool.” (Whaaat? Yessss! Everything I’ve been working and waiting for. All my dreams are coming truuue!)
Me: “What did he say?”
Interior Designer: “ He says your work is a little creepy. This one looks like melted cheese. Soooo that’s going to be no actually.”
Me: “Oh.” (lays off the melted cheese look)
REJECTION H
Me: “Can I show my work in your coffee shop that has a gallery wall?”
Coffee Shop: No reply
Me: Really? From a coffee shop? Okaaaaay.
REJECTION I:
Me: “Can I show my work in the weird little lobby area of your framing shop?”
Framing Shop: “We do not accept unsolicited proposals.”
Me: Oh my...I beg your pardon good sir..please forgive my solicitation
SEMI-REJECTION J
High End Interiors Company: “Do you want to collaborate?”
Me: “Yes, I’d love to.” (Whaaat? Yessss! Everything I’ve been working and waiting for. All my dreams are coming truuue!)
High End Interiors Company: “We’d like you to make original art like xyz to sell in our online shop.”
Me: “I’m on it!” Makes original art xyz (and kills it by the way). Gives xyz to High End Interiors Company (they love everything). Asks High End Interiors Company for a contract.
High End Interiors Company: “We’ll get that contract right over” Posts xyz in their online shop. Sells a few. To my friends and family. Sends one check.
Me: “Off to a decent start. Where’s that contract?”
High End Interiors Company: “It’s getting close, we just need to, ummm.”
Me: “Hey, where’s that contract? Is anything selling?”
Me: “What happened to the guy who was emailing me back then slowly disappeared? And then that lady after him who slowly disappeared?”
Me: “Has anything sold? Where are my originals? Hello? Why is this no longer your email address?”
High End Interiors Company:..........GHOSTED
...two years later…
Me: “So I guess it’s safe to say this isn’t happening. Just to be clear, please don’t use my work again. I’ve had no contact from you in ages. And I want my originals back.”
High End Interiors Company: “You should have just emailed us if you wanted information.”
Me: WTF...scrolls through a dozen emails sent with no reply...Flares nostrils...stares straight ahead, blinking slowly for one full minute
REJECTION K
Fancy developer: “I want to commission some paintings for the lobby of our upcoming building. Can we meet in person? Bring your work.”
Me: “Sounds great.” (Whaaat? Yessss! Everything I’ve been working and waiting for. All my dreams are coming truuue!) Meets in person. Brings work. He likes it. Will email details.
Fancy Developer: “I would like to commission 3 large paintings.”
Me: “Let’s talk specific colors and sizes” (Whaaat? Yessss! Everything I’ve been working and waiting for. All my dreams are coming truuuue!)
Fancy Developer:..........GHOSTED
REJECTION L
Me: “Can I show my work in this super cool space?”
Cool Curator: “Sounds Interesting. Let’s talk about it over coffee.”
Me: “Sounds great.” (Whaaat? Yessss! Everything I’ve been working and waiting for. All my dreams are coming truuue!)
...Me and Cool Curator meet for coffee. For over two hours. Cool curator loves my project...
Cool Curator: “I love this concept...your work could be displayed in these many cool ways...in addition to an opening reception we could do these other cool, intimate events...maybe this amazing idea, maybe that amazing idea. This show could potentially go up within the next two months. Maybe I will make all your dreams come true. Maybe you will be cool like me. Email me xyz and I’ll get back to you.”
Me: “OKAY!” (Whaaat? Yessss! Everything I’ve been working and waiting for. All my dreams are coming truuue!) Emails xyz. Checks email every 3 minutes. Imagines new life as a legitimate artist validated by a legitimate curator. Allows all beliefs about worth as an artist to hang in the balance.
Cool Curator:..........GHOSTED
...two weeks later...
Me: “Oh, hey, just thought I’d check in, did you have a chance to decide?”
Cool Curator:..........GHOSTED
...four weeks later…
Me: “Oh, hey, just thought I’d check in, did you have a chance to decide?”
Cool Curator:..........GHOSTED
Me: Ummm...
Me Actually: (What was I thinking, of course she ghosted me, I’m such a loser, why did I think I would ever be cool like her, my dreams will never come true, I’m a leper, I’m a failurrrreeeee)
...four weeks later…
Me: “Just checking in...I’m about to move on to someone else...any minute now if I don’t hear back from you...going once...going twice…”
Cool Curator:..........GHOSTED
Me: (Uggghhhh. SHE’S a leper.)
REJECTION M
Me: “Can I show my work in the sad hallway of your artist studio warehouse thingy?”
Artist Studio Warehouse Thingy: “Sure…”
Me: (Whaaat? Yessss! Everything I’ve been working and waiting for. All my dreams are coming truuuue!)
Artist Studio Warehouse Thingy: “...You can RENT it. For $400 a day.”
Me: Flares nostrils
Also Me: Takes things into my own hands. Finds the PERFECT space with perfect white walls. Pays own hard-earned money to rent said space for one week with no idea if enough work would sell to cover costs. Plans and executes the show of my dreams with an amazing opening reception. Sells enough to quadruple investment and then some.
Learns the valuable lesson that no one is coming to make me famous or do the work for me and no one cares about my work more than I do.
Is surprised by my own resilience.
Recognizes that rejection means I am pushing into new territory.
Realizes that the very fact I am still here, painting and working and making things happen, means that I’m already living all that I’ve worked and waited for. That my dreams really are coming true.
Sending Love
Denise
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