Motherhood is HARD. Five things that helped me through.

Do you ever feel like you hate your kids? Do you ever feel like you are falling apart and you will never survive this day, much less another year!? It’s okay. You are not alone.

Some of the darkest days of my life were the early days of motherhood when I had two kids four and under. I know that may sound dramatic...and ungrateful...especially in comparison to people with 'real problems' (which is why I often convinced myself to suck it up / stop complaining etc.) Of course there is so much joy to be had in those years, and we love to talk about that part...but it can be harder to admit out loud that sometimes it's just plain miserable. ⠀

I am convinced that every parent has to find their own way though those times. Your experiences, solutions, and breakthroughs will be completely different than mine. But here's a quick list of five things that helped me through my toughest years of motherhood.

1. Admitting out loud that I didn't feel okay, and I didn't have to feel guilty about that just because other people have problems much bigger than my own.⠀

2. Getting help. A few sessions of therapy did wonders for me, in a way that commiserating with other moms/friends never could.⠀

3. Self Care. Got my bloodwork done, found a thyroid condition! Got a prescription, good supplements, focused on more sleep and eating more protein. Who knew!? You’re supposed to eat protein more than once a week! I thought white carbs were pretty much a complete diet:)

4. Cut anything out of my schedule and life that wasn't absolutely necessary. No more operating out of sheer obligation to people and commitments that actually mattered less to me than myself and my family.

5. Time. Some changes just take time. For me, having my oldest boys grow up a bit and become more rational / independent has been huge. Kids in school has also made a big difference. Not just the alone time during the day, but the consistency in schedule is something that helps me structure our lives.(structure has never been my strength.)⠀

All this to say...If you are in a bad place in motherhood, don't feel guilty. It's okay to admit that you are struggling. You are not a bad mom or a bad person. There are ways to get through it and find more joy, and I am confident that you will find them.

Sending Love,
Denise